Families faced with the difficult time of being bestowed upon the responsibility of taking or ensuring proper care for the senior loved ones encounter some heavy issues. Having family disputes and conflicts among the members is often seen to be one of them. So, we from Comfort Keepers Silicon Valley thought of addressing this often neglected issue of family fights over senior care related decisions.
Here we have listed down the 7 most common reasons for which such fights occurs and have tried to direct you towards possible solutions to the problems. As a result you will be aware of these issues beforehand and will be able to avoid such issues before they may take place. Moreover, even if they take place you will be able to solve the issues faster and more easily before any harm is done!
1. Difference in Opinion among Siblings
We have often seen that siblings view the need of senior care for their senior parents differently. The basic argument may revolve around whether they really need professional care yet or not. Or if they do, then what type of care would be most suitable.
To deal with this issue nothing does better than to have a focused discussion with a clear mind. Sit over a cup of tea with your parents and discuss over the present condition.
2. Seniors Resisting Care
Even if all the members of the family agree that the senior loved one really needs care then the seniors themselves may resist care due to various assumptions over expenditure, lost independence etc.
To solve this problem at first find out exactly why they are resisting. Then try and make them realize the essential necessity of the situation through effective exemplification.
3. One Member or Child Doing All the Heavy Work
Often in such situations we have seen that one of the members ends up doing all the hard work and becomes overburdened. This may lead to family fights and unhappiness along with the individual’s mental and physical problems.
To deal with this issue you have to understand that not all of us perceives the situation the same way. As you are doing most of the work you also have to keep in mind that may be others are not realizing that there are works to be done. So, you have to spell out your problems and ask for help clearly and logically.
4. One Member Making All the Decisions
Another issue that often leads to family conflicts is the tendency of one member’s ruling over all others while making any decision. Or may be that one member is not even caring to ask for suggestions from others.
This may become a bit difficult issue to solve. As the member who is doing so must have more significance in the family and talking to him might become a hard task. But no matter what, express your opinions in clear terms, if you think that the decisions they are making are not appropriate. Or just politely place your logical suggestions before finalizing any issue. Because there are conditions when wrong decisions may cause a lot of harm. So, don’t lose you calm and keep pressing what you think is right with dedicated quietude.
5. Paying for the Care
It is one of the most common scenarios in the families with seniors needing care. Especially after the 2008 financial meltdown when most of the retirees financial account is still struggling to recover. So, in times of arranging the money needed for the care of senior loved ones family members and children may have to look into their own pockets. Thereby, causing dissatisfaction with each other.
Here too focused and considerate discussion along with earnest understanding of each other’s situation is of prime importance. We should all sit together to discuss and find out how much we can contribute. We should acknowledge that we will try our best to ensure the best possible care for our loved seniors.
6. Caregiving while Raising the Family
According to a research conducted by the National Center on Caregiving almost 75% of family caregivers are women. And often it has been observed that these women are also responsible for raising their own children and caring for the whole family. In such situations the condition may often become heated as the member responsible for all these will naturally be stressed and dissatisfied.
To deal with this issue all the other members have to be careful and proactive. They have to chip in to support as much as they can. And the family caregiver also have to ask for help without hesitation and make others understand that their help is very much required. Besides, opting for professional help is always an option.
Family members fighting over inheritance is a very sad incident indeed. However, this happens very often. Most of the times such situation occurs when there aren’t any well sketched out and up to date will.
So, in order to avoid such unpleasant family occurrences always keep a well written, clear and up to date will ready!